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It's customary to give gratuities to your wedding vendors. But to whom? When? And how much? To add to the confusion, some vendors include a gratuity in their contracts, while others leave tipping to your discretion. Ask before you sign, so that you know whether tipping is optional or contractual. Here's a breakdown of what to expect and what to do:
When Gratuities Are Expected:
Waitstaff at the rehearsal dinner
How much tip? For parties of 20 or more, a gratuity of approximately 20 perecnt will generally be automatically added to the bill.
Wedding-day transportation:
How much tip? 20 percent of the total cost.
When to tip: Most transportation companies allow the option of paying in advance or on the day of the wedding.
Give the job to: the best man. He can be in charge of paying any outstanding transportation bills and tips.
Reception staff (including the manager, maitre d', waitstaff, bartenders, and powder-room, coat-check, and parking attendants)
How much tip? 18–20 percent of final reception bill. (This is usually split between the manager, maitre d', waitstaff, and attendants.)
When to tip: The bill and tips are usually paid a few days prior to the reception.
DJ/musicians at reception.
How much tip? $20–$25 for each musician.
When to tip: at the end of the reception.
Give the job to: the best man. Have cash envelopes prepared in advance.
When is Tipping is Optional?
Delivery-truck drivers (cake, rental equipment) and workers who set up rental equipment (tents, tables, and chairs)
How much tip? $5–$25 per person, depending on difficulty of the tasks.
When to tip: Upon delivery or post setup.
Give the job to: The person accepting deliveries or the person in charge of setting up the ceremony and reception sites. Have cash envelopes prepared in advance.
Officiant:
How much to tip? $50 - $100. If the pastor insists he does not want to charge, it is customary to make a donation to the church/synagogue or to a charity in the officiant's name in lieu of a tip.
When to tip: Donations can be made prior to the wedding, presented at the rehearsal dinner or given after the ceremony.
Give the job to: the best man, if you wait until the wedding weekend.
Organist/musicians for ceremony
How much to tip? $20–$25 for each musician.
When to tip: at the end of the ceremony.
Give the job to: the best man. Have cash envelopes prepared in advance.
Reception-hall manager/maitre d'
How much to tip? $30 or more for each, depending on the size of the wedding and the final reception bill.
When to tip: at the end of reception.
GIVE THE JOB TO: The father of the bride or the best man. Have cash envelopes prepared in advance.
Waitstaff and bartenders
HOW MUCH TO TIP? $20 per person or 10% of the total bar tab for bartenders. (Also, instruct the maitre d' that guests should not be solicited for tips.)
When to tip: at the end of the reception. If you are tipping a percentage, you will need to know the final bar tab first.
Give the job to: the maitre d'. Have cash envelopes prepared in advance.
Hair and makeup artists
How much to tip? 10 - 15 percent of total cost.
When to tip: at the end of service.
Manicurist
HOW MUCH TO TIP? 15-20% of total cost.
When to tip: At the end of service.
Masseuse (pre-wedding massage)
How much to tip? 15–20 percent of total cost.
When to tip: at the end of service.
Proper Responsibilities for Wedding Party
THE BRIDE
Personal stationery
Groom’s wedding ring
Wedding gift for groom
Gifts for attendants
Attendants’ dresses (optional)
Lodging for out-of-town attendants (optional)
Bridesmaids’ luncheon
Gift for parents (optional)
THE BRIDE's FAMILY
First engagement party (optional)
Wedding gift for newlyweds
Entire reception
Bride’s wedding attire and trousseau
Parent’s wedding attire
Invitations, announcements, thank you notes, and postage
Wedding programs
Engagement and wedding photographs
Musicians/Vocalists/Videographer
Aisle carpets and/or canopy and decorations
Bridesmaids’ bouquets
Flowers for church
Flowers for reception
Flowers for flower girl
Transportation for bridal party to ceremony and reception
Security and insurance for gifts
Welcome buffet or cocktail party for out-of-town guests (optional)
GROOM
Bride’s rings
Honeymoon
Transportation to airport
Wedding gift for bride
Bridal bouquet and going away corsage
Boutonnieres for all men in wedding party
Mothers’ corsages
Gifts for best man, groomsmen, and ushers
Groomsmen’s attire (optional)
Gloves, ties or ascots for men in wedding party (optional)
Lodging for out-of-town attendants
Marriage license
Fee for officiant
Gifts for parents (optional)
GROOM's FAMILY
Engagement party (following party given by bride’s parents)
Travel expenses and hotel bills
Groom’s personal stationery, thank-you notes
Groom’s wedding attire
Parents’ wedding attire
Rehearsal dinner
Wedding gift for the newlyweds
Shipment of wedding gifts to the couple’s new home
Welcome buffet/cocktail party for out-of-town guests (Opt)
GROOM's ATTENDANTs
Bachelor party
Formalwear rental
Their Lodging
You must get your marriage license at least three days in advance.
As a general rule, you may reasonably expect 60% of the invited guests will actually attend the ceremony. For greater participation reminder notices and/or reminder telephone calls work great.
CDs burnt on home computers will not work in every CD player (Be sure to do a test run)...
A bride is less likely to trip if she is wearing a shoe with closed toes.
Did you know that...
AGENDA
Just as every wedding (regardless of how formal or the size) has an agenda or program to follow, so should your reception.
Provide a program list of the sequential order of events that "YOU" want. Include traditional activities and other events to make it as festive as you desire your event to be. Provide this list (with detailed instructions) to your entertainer, photographer, videographer, and wedding your wedding director or consultant (if applicable). You "may" even want to prepare a printed out program to place on each of the guests' tables as a keepsake. Example below:
Cocktails
The Wedding March
The First Dance
Buffet Served
Toasts
Cutting of the Cake
The Single's Dance
Tossing the Garter & Bouquet
Community March - Where the Bride and Groom lead a march in and around the reception location, adding guests' at the end of the line with a fun tune playing.
Your program can also list the names of the parents, attendants, special guests, and words written by the couple. You may also want to list the name of the band, special services personnel and a special thanks.
Wedding Toasts
The first toast is given by the best man to the bride. She should not join in drinking from her glass since she’s the one being toasted. It is appropriate for the bride to smile and perhaps bow in the direction of each person who toasts her. Many times, the toast will be to the "couple". The bride should consider raising a toast to her parents and maybe even to the groom’s parents and her maid/matron of honor. However, if the original toast is to the "couple" instead of the "Bride" alone, each should consider toasts to their parents.
First Dance
If you are planning a dance at the reception, the first dance can be conducted after the “march” or once the receiving line has broken up. Like the first kiss, only the groom may dance with the bride first. After this special dance, the DJ can continue the reception program that you have lined out or encourage others to dance.
Cutting The Cake--When cutting the cake at the wedding, a suggestion would be to have a picture of the bride's parents and the husband's parents cutting the cake on their wedding day. Have the pictures framed and sitting on the cake table for decoration!
KIDS KORNER at the RECEPTION
If a special room or area is set aside for children, have the following items gathered, in advance. It might be a good idea to pay an attendant to watch over the children.
• Crayons
• Coloring Books
• Puzzles
• Small Board Games
• Other child activities
Wedding Reception Styles
Wedding receptions come in many styles and is usually determined by taste and budget. Considerations include a simple cake and punch style; a full, set down dinner or buffet; and whether alcohol will be served or not. Some prefer that the reception be set in a garden setting, a historic building or at a local Hotel. Entertainment is also a question You may want to have something as simple as a C.D. Player or a high school band student play a flute. But you may go so far as including a band, DJ, quartet instrumentalists, a harpist or simply a pianist. You may even want to start with a pianist for a quieter mood and then have a band play for the dance. If you are unfamiliar with the musicians, it is a good idea to request an audience or attend one of their bookings. If not, request an audio or video tape if one is available. This will give you a good feel for their musical ability and style. You may want to hire a vocalist who may sing with taped music and who may also use a keyboard. The DJ can provide a variety of music for your guests. Different mixtures of music that appeal to both the younger and older attendees at your event will provide enjoyment for all. Reserve your booking date as soon as possible. Live bands will also need special provisions for set-up at the reception site.
Inquire about additional services that the entertainer might be able to provide. If you don’t hire a master of ceremonies, the DJ can usually assist in making announcements, announcing the names in the entry March, and generating audience participation. Other services that the leader might offer includes making announcements about the serving of the food buffet, asking guests to utilize the cameras on the tables and signing the autograph book, or asking the guests to travel safely home at the end of the event. To make your reception a pleasant event, choose the personality style that is best appropriate for the atmosphere you desire to create. The entertainer should be flexible to meet your needs and the program of your reception. If you don’t want the dramatic flair, ask your MC designee to spare the jokes and circus-like presentations.
When selecting your entertainment, interview the leader. Ask specific questions about their fees, services provided, experience level, types of instruments used, how long they play before a break, and what the members of the group wear for such events.
